Quality Reporting from the Enquirer!

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Enquirer: We’re All Dead!

No need to put your valuables in a safe, citizens of West Chester.  You’ll be ok.  But anyone within the 275 loop is in imminent danger of being murdered.  Probably by a black person.

This past weekend was like an Easter basket filled with delicious junk news the Enquirer loves gobbling up:  metropolitan crime!  Minorities!  Guns!  Police running after criminals in broad daylight!  Shootings on and near landmarks (Findlay Market/Fountain Square)!

Naturally, the Enquirer went on a junk news binge.  These shootings deserve coverage, but just search for “Fountain Square shooting” on Enquirer.com and you’ll have your pick of 20+ stories.  Some are repeats from various Gannett properties but that’s…a lot.

Then comes this unchallenged quote from Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters.

“You cannot have this type of act in the city’s core.  You don’t see this in Times Square.”

Thus proving Joe Deters has never been to Times Square.

We’re just as guilty as anyone of sniping at the faults of this town.  But the Enquirer seems to openly take delight in painting Cincinnati as a war zone with this kind of coverage, this kind of quote, and the headline under which this quote ran: “Progress in city’s square, but safety fears return.”

Return?  Return for whom, exactly?  Another piece in the Enquirer said the day after the shooting was “business as usual” on Fountain Square.  What happened was terrible, and in the case of the teenager who pulled the gun, idiotic.  Not part of a pattern, though.  So if you’re going to use comment threads on momslikeme.com as a basis for “fears returning” to downtown, you really have no business running a newspaper.

Then again, this is the Enquirer we’re talking about.… Read the rest

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The Cincinnati Enquirer Reveals Things that Make Local Man’s Dick Hard

A lot of stupid spelling and grammar errors show up on Enquirer.com every day.  It’s the kind of thing that could be prevented with basic proofreading.  Oh, well.

But this amounts to the Enquirer folks et al not paying one fucking lick of attention.  Check out the shirt on chin pubes.

There are two sets of questions:

  1. For the Enquirer/Metromix/Cincinnati.com team, what moves your photographer to take a picture of this guy?  And post it, unchanged?  And why hasn’t anyone in the Gannett compound noticed as of 8:30 Thursday night?
  2. For Lintbeard, why buy this shirt?  Maybe you thought it was funny when you first saw it, but why go through with buying it?  And then why buy this shirt and wear it in public?  Above all, why buy this shirt, wear it in public, and say, “yes, Mr. Camera, I would like to be forever immortalized as the douche telling everyone what makes his penis happy”?

In conclusion, fuck!  Enquirer.  Seriously??  FUCK!… Read the rest

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John Phillips’s Anti-Streetcar Enquirer Column: Awesome?

So, it seems like the Enquirer’s hitting the anti-streetcar sentiment pretty damn hard lately.  Harder than they have been in the past.


You like that, Cincinnati?

I swear, this is a depressing time to live here.  Except for the Reds.  They’re pretty good, I guess.… Read the rest

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7: Get ‘er, Ray! [CinAwesome Podcast]


In this episode of the CinAwesome Podcast, we cover some past polls, look at the more-than-Top 5 goofy Cincinnati things over the past couple weeks, talk about the whole Charlie Sheen/’90 Reds connection, and discuss the CincyBlogs thing.

Music at the beginning of the show is Koan.

Incidental sounds came from freesound.org.  These are:

Basic Break, added by VEXST
radio sound, added by funkyfierce
radio noises, added by mattwasser
Melancholic interpretation in G#, added by ConnumRead the rest

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Is the New Enquirer Design Awesome?

I should probably preface this with some kind of disclosure that I’m not really a design person. Of course, you probably know that already. I have, however, been waiting for the new Enquirer site design since they announced it a few weeks back. Here’s what the front page looks like:

Again–not being a design-centered person, my immediate reaction is that the site appears to look a bit more clean, and maybe more navigable.  The new Cincinnati.com logo is sort of dumb, but I can look past that.

There are two things that mainly strike me about the new design.  The first is that HOLY MOLY, THIS LOOKS LIKE WORDPRESS.  The second is the layout of the red panel below the logo.  Behold:

Yep.  I realize that it doesn’t look like this on all computers, but it’s not terribly tough to make sure your site looks the same no matter where people look at it.  Le Sigh.… Read the rest

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Um, Is the Enquirer Awesome?

I know I’ve picked on them a lot in the past, and it may not seem like I’m really rooting for them, per se, but how about the Enquirer?  They’re certainly important to the community, and it’s no secret that they’ve run into some trouble here and there, but they’re our newspaper and therefore we read ‘em. All told, I love the Enquirer and want it to be better than it is–think of it as tough love.  Or something like that.


  • It’s your one-stop shop for press release, crime and government stories, and high school sports scores.
  • If you do telephone sales of any kind, they’re looking to hire you.
  • Every year it seems like they change their weight/size to an easier-to-carry format.  POSITIVE SPIN ZONE!


  • The layoffs of editorial staff over the past couple years means that we get to not-so-randomly find typos and mistakes of all varieties.  (Sidebar: someone should make a game where the object is to find the most obscure grammatical/punctuation mistake in the Enquirer.  Winner gets an editorial position at the Enquirer, if they want it.)
  • They appear to see themselves in direct competition with the television stations.  NO–YOU DO NEWS, THEY DO WEATHER.  That’s how it should be, anyhow.

Original pic from http://www.flickr.com/photos/the-o/Read the rest

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#4: The Happiest Meatball Sandwich on Earth

In this episode of the CinAwesome Podcast of Awesomeness, Jason and Ed cover the last couple weeks of polls, discuss Ed’s trip to Orlando and all the Disney awesomeness it has to offer, the Enquirer’s apparent humor when it comes to writing murder-related headlines, and the Carson Palmer thing.  Yes, that Carson Palmer thing.  NO, NOT *THAT* CARSON PALMER THING, YOU SICKASS.

We hope you enjoy the show–why not stop in and rate/write a review of the show at iTunes?  If you do, we’ll talk about how great you are on the next ‘cast.… Read the rest

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If It Bleeds It Leads: Awesome or Grody?

I’ve been following the Enquirer and its headlines for quite some time, and it seems that lately (i.e., FOREVER AND A DAY), we’ve been treated to two types of stories: those that chronicle government, and SUPER BLOODY TALES OF VIOLENCE AND DEATH.

Both types of stories are, of course, legitimate news and/or “journalism,” whatever that means.  But taken out of context–which would mean in this case to ONLY read the Cincinnati Enquirer to get your news–one might think that we’re living in a Frank Miller-esque Gotham, where we’re waiting for the likes of our own Batman to pull us out of the cacophony that is our violent city.

It all comes back around to Shadow Hare, doesn’t it?


  • Violent news brings advertisers.  Advertisers keep our newspapers afloat.  Vicious circle.
  • Without news reporting on the violence occurring in our city and its surrounding areas, you wouldn’t know which neighborhoods to avoid because of your race-centered prejudices.
  • It’s a violent world we live in.  Without this reporting, we’ll never get the superhero we so sorely need.  Are you paying attention, Batman?


  • I seriously can’t think of any reason why the predominance of reporting on violence is a bad thing. Seriously.  Seriously.  How many times do I have to write the word “Seriously” before it’s evident that I’m being sarcastic?

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sirmildredpierce/Read the rest

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